miss_reetard on Xanga

Weblog

Friday, 13 November 2009

Wow its been a whole year and almost a month from the last time I posted anything here. Can't say that a lot has happened since the last time I posted. Which is quite sad. I have quite the boring life.

I have the year off school.

I've somewhat decided that I want to go into the food and nutrition program and still somewhat unsure. I just wish that I was like most people and be like, "this is what I want to be and i'm 100% sure. no doubts". But instead I'm like, "I could do this...or maybe I'll like this ???". And you know I thought taking the year off will be good, I'll be able to figure out what I want to do but I'm still confused. Its not like in the movies where they take the year off and this lightbulb lights up saying this is what I need to do. Still waiting here for that lightbulb to turn on. Its frustrating too because you don't really have the whole year off, you need to start applying for universities/colleges in Jan/Feb.

tick tock tick tock. Times running out.

I was looking at my yearbooks from high school, re-reading messages people wrote in it. Its funny but also sad how people don't stay connected. We always say "Don't forget me! We'll still hang out"...its all lies. I've honestly kept in contact with two people and thats because I'm really close with them. But to be honest I've never been the type of person to have a large quantity of friends..I'm more about the quality of the friend. And you know what? If that means that I only a few friends..so be it. I was reading a message from E, and we used to be really close, and now? We don't talk to each other..we don't meet up when she's back in toronto. We've lost connection. You wrote that I think that we won't stay in touch and its come true. We did try to meet up a few times in the first year of uni/college but now its like whatever. It may be because I didn't try hard enough to keep the friendship going..but theres only so much one can do. For a friendship to work out, you need both parties working at the friendship.

Blech.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

so basically from my last post..like i said i chose not to stay in the program. well i'm still in it..but not gonna go to ryerson next year to do my third year. i think that i've figured out what i want to do now. i'm going to go into food and nutrition and become a registered dietitian. so basically i'll do 4 years of university, do an internship and then take the test to officially become a registered dietitian.

i guess being in placement made me realize that i didn't want to do ece anymore. if you can't wait for it to be over then i'm pretty sure you're in the wrong field. haha

so i have my week off this week and then its back to school next week for 7 weeks. i need to buy my books, get the metropass, apply for part-time jobs. sigh.

its such bullshit though. it clearly didn't state whether we need to do a fieldtrip for placement or not but my co-operating ece was bugging me about it so i decided to do it last minute. but i was talking to the other student that was in my room also and he was like yeah i don't think we really needed to do a fieldtrip. also if it was mandatory it would have said so in the evaluation form which does state what we need to have done. all it said was that we needed to do 2 long plans, 1 doc panal, and a staff week. no where in that package did it say that we had to do a fieldtrip. so anyways i decided to come back to placement yesterday for half a day to do the fieldtrip and then be done with it. so i went to placement to be there for 8:30 to find that my teacher wasn't even there since she was sick. and the other teacher wasn't there either so there were two supplies. there was only one full time staff there so they were like oh you can't do it today. so when we were outside the full time staff was asking me about it and i was telling her how i wasn't sure if we really needed to do one and that my co-operating ece was the one that wanted me to do one so i asked if i should come back another day or you know what? and she was like yeah yeah you could come back on wednesday or thursday 'cause i don't think that she'll be back anytime soon 'cause i think she's really sick. so i'm thinking..you have got to be fucking kidding me. technically i've already been graded so i'm taking time out of my time off to come back to do something that i don't even think that i need to do. this is fucking bullshit. if she's not back on thursday i'm going to be like fuck it i came on monday you weren't here and if she's not there on thursday..i'm not going to waste more time by trying to do it. actually i wouldn't be able too because i have school the next week..sure some of you may be thinking..well you could go on friday..but really? if i've already gone on monday which was a waste of time..sure i got to see the cuties again but i didn't even get to do the fieldtrip..and if she's not there again on thursday? theres no point. also what i find ridiculous is that whenever i know i was gonna be late and i wanted to call them to let them know..no one picked up the phone. it always went to the answering machine. like theres a reason why you have a phone..what if it was one of the parents calling? i do know that there is a phone in the infant room..maybe its a different number? but why have a different number? and if the main number that i had was linked to the supervisor's office..why isn't she there to pick up the phone?

its funny how i used to update this blog everyday..and now its like a monthly update. lol

Thursday, 18 September 2008

to stay or not to stay?
that is the question.
but i'm pretty sure my answer is to not stay.

i'm not sure if i really want to stay in my program anymore. i'm in my second year now and is having second thoughts about staying in the ece program. you would think i would have figured this out in the first year..but i guess it took me a bit longer to realize that i don't want to do this. but its better that i figured it out now then two years later when i finish the two years in ryerson. now that would be a waste. i'm gonna finish the year off so that i at least get the diploma for ece but i won't go to ryerson for the degree.

sure i like doing this, but do i want to do this for the rest of my life?
it is true though what an old friend that i ran into today said somewhere along these lines "you may never find a career that you want to do for the rest of your life". i just think that i'm in the wrong career path though. to me..someone that goes into ece has an outgoing personality, loves children, has good communication skills, sings and all that stuff. people that know me...know that i'm a quiet and shy person. so it would seem..why did i go into ece? i don't really know..well at first i wanted to go into kinesiology but then that was scratched out and i guess i though being in ece/being a teacher would have been alright.

so i'm sorta undecided of what i want to do now. sigh.

you never think that you would be a person that didn't know what they wanted to do. and seriously high school was no help. those guidance counselors do jack shit. its like your just suppose to know this is the career i want to do. sure some people do know right away this is what i want to do..but some of us we need a little more time. i think even if i stayed back a year..it probably wouldn't have helped. maybe i should have taken a year off? who knows..only time will tell.

and holy shit. i have this retarded class called competent learner/reflective and the learning logs are so dumb. there is a set format and the third question is so stupid. What does this learning experience mean to you and your career? and the shit that we're learning is kinda like english 'cause we're learning how to write an essay that would be acceptable in university. realistically none of this shit will mean anything to anyone and their career. its just stupid shit that we're all forced to learn.

Sunday, 07 September 2008

first week of school is done and over with

first week of placement? it was alright i guess. i have toddlers. and some of them are super adorable. lol
what i'm not looking forward too is doing all the planning and shiet. gahhhhhh. seriously it takes too much time.

need to buy some of my books for school still. grrr.

thats all i really need to update about. yuup. :)

Thursday, 28 August 2008

for a person that doesn't have such a busy life (well i was working all summer) i should be able to update more.

so there is really only 2 BIG news to start off the blog with.

firstly, my sister got ENGAGED! :)
and secondly, i have finally QUIT food basics! whoooo. haha

but sadly i am now unemployed :( no money coming into my bank account each week. omg. today is the last day i'll be having money deposited into my bank account. :O

so school is about to begin again. i will be starting school with placement first which is awesome. i do agree with the teachers that placement is what i look forward too. and plus i have toddlers! they are the cutest when they are in the toddler/preschool age. i just phoned my placement to find out what time i should be there and i have to be there at 745AM. meaning i have to wake up extra extra early on the first day back to school. how will i manage to wake up? haha

i have the same faculty adviser that i had for my first placement which i guess is good but also bad.
its good in the way that i know how she observes us and i've already had evaluations with her so i know what to expect.
its bad in the way that she knows my strengths and weaknesses already and she'll probably be really hard on me on my weaknesses. ...actually thats a good thing..'cause then i'll learn quickly how to improve.

but yeah. i'm excited to start school.

i was just thinking..i'm gonna be there at 745AM which is actually a good thing because i will be there when the parents start dropping off their children and it'll get my a chance to introduce myself. which has always been a problem area for me. i don't know why it just felt talking to the parents. but in this placement i should just throw myself in there and introduce myself to the parents right away and have it by midterm being good instead of needs improvement.

hopefully i don't get lost going to my placement. haha 'cause i realized i forgot to ask her how to get there. but there is the power of the internet to help me figure it out. haha